NATALIE PORTMAN
(yawning)
Hayden, I'm pregnant.

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
(furrowing his brow)
How can you be sure?

NATALIE PORTMAN
Because in a minute or two I'll
actually be showing. Really.

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
You know, I love you with all the
love one can love a lover with.

NATALIE PORTMAN
Wow, that almost tops your 'wish'
line from the last movie. Tell me
again on the balcony while I brush
my hair and look vaguely hideous.

z47rubberduckies: What are you nervous about
dragonboat2004: just leaving home
z47rubberduckies: The trick Is to make beloit your home

Great. Thanks so much, Kai.

A good day, indeed.

Mozel Tov, Ellen! I'll miss you like crazy, you better bring me back a boy, you know how I love those boys in uniform! Tell Perri, Mirav, Nitzaan, Benny and Ahmeet hi from me. I'll send the packages to Scotland once I get the address from you! Kisses and hugs from home.

Can't wait to move out. Parents driving me up the WALL and am utterly sick of their badgering. (Badger badger badger)

I fucking hate my parents asking me all the time, "Who are you with? Where are you? Can I have an address or a phone number?!?!" God, its not like I'm ALMOST 20 or anything. I don't have a curfew, and by 11:30 its pretty obvious that no one else is going to use the car later, so let me stay out with my friends who I've known for years if I want to make that decision. In college, I'm not giving you phone numbers or addresses, for all you know I'll be spending the night in random boys' dorms. I was on my own in Europe for 9 weeks, being a teenage girl, alone except for Ellen, not speaking the language half the time, and LOOK!!! I'm still ALIVE! I made it though, staying out late and drinking and hanging out with my friends that I met there.
I don't need them not to care anymore, but a little bit of freedom would be nice to have once and a while, since I'm, you know, LEAVING soon. God damn it.

Look at the time on the top of this entry...Thats right...look at it....BLINK....and look at it again. Yep, 5:43, hell yeah. God hate the warehouse sale!

Wow. On Jason Mraz's new CD, he spells the title of the 5th track wrong. Its called Mr. Curiosity, but he spells like Mr. Curiousity. Plus, I think that spellcheck is mentioned in the lyrics. I looked on his website, and I guess only the first printings of the CD had it on it, so perhaps I have a collector's edition on my hands. Hoorah for buying a CD on the first day it was out!! (By the way, its really good)

Its fucking 80 degrees in my room. I'm totally not lying about that, its what my handy clock alarm thingy says. Gaaaah, how is anyone supposed to sleep in a room this hot??? Its impossible, no wonder I've been sleeping badly for the past week. My chest burn is peeling now, which is super attractive, don't let anyone tell you differently. I finally have a day off on Monday, and I aim to hang out with Jason and maybe someone else if my eye appointment can't be rescheduled for that day. Rahnia--info about party on Saturday? Attire, time, etc, etc, etc...Every time I use 'etc' I think of The King and I. Good movie, although highly overrated as a musical. Still cry at the end, every time though.

Trying to get sleep now, making an effort to close my eyes before I realize its 3am and I have to wake up in 5 hours.

Rafting on Thursday with mum, should be fab. Excited to the max about that one.

But if I do, sorry and oh well.

I hate pot. And you know why? Because it scares me. Because even though I've never used it, I'm terrified of what it could do to my friends who do use it. I had this friend Kaity, and pot led to smoking cigarettes, and cigarettes led to harder drugs and then that led her away from me. Thusly, I haven't seen her in about 9 months and I haven't talked to her since before I left for Europe. People who say that pot doesn't do anything to you, doesn't kill brain cells, don't realize that maybe it doesn't kill as many cells as say, cocaine does, but it still does damage. And before someone gets on my ass and says that everything causes brain cells to die, I know that, its just an example of what marajuana can do.

I suppose I hate it because I'm afraid of it. I'm afraid of something so habit forming, something that can cause you to walk away from your friends who care about you, something that would make you lie to the people you're closest to. I know that all you people who do use it, are thinking, "Well, she doesn't have to worry about me, I'm not going to leave or lie or anything like that." But it's happened. More than once, I've been lied to about it, from different people, and I hate anything that makes any relationship of mine not honest. I'm afraid of losing touch with the people I care most about. I really just can't deal with it, I don't know why, but drugs in general make me intensely uncomfortable, even when people talk about them in front of me. I've never done it, I don't ever want to do it, I think its an ugly habit up there with smoking cigarettes, and it makes me wonder why people want to put such poisonous things into their bodies.

Maybe I'm too uptight, prude or any other number of things, but I think that I've been silent long enough, and I need to let people know what I really think about it. The bottom line is that I'm afraid of losing someone again. And maybe blaming pot is not the right thing to do, but its something that had a big part of it. I'm scared of something I've never done, never been near, and I hate that I have to worry about people I love doing something like that.

Itching to do something dramatic. Not like drama queen attitude or being snotty, but something out of the ordinary that makes people go, "Wait, you did what?" But the more I think about it, the more my practical side says, "Nope." Tattoo is out of the question. Piercing...Well, what would I pierce? And thats all I got. My life is mundane, and I suppose I must deal.

Putting my 2-week notice in tomorrow. I officially leave for Wisconsin in 4 weeks from today. That gives me 28 days to pack up my life into suitcases and ship myself away from my friends, my family, my city and my security blanket. Scary, non?

Maybe this sadness and itchyness is due to the fact that I haven't hung out with anyone since...well, ok, Jason and I watched Spirited Away on Monday, but it seems like forever ago. The only time I see Meg is if she wanders around Meier and Frank until she finds me, we're both working so much (I am slightly afraid to go into DEB and talk to her, I don't want her to get yelled at). I haven't seen Katy but once this summer last week when we went to dinner at Pambiche. Dana and I haven't seen each other since we saw War of the Worlds, and Adam and I haven't actually had any true quality hang out time either.

This was supposed to be a great summer, but all I can think about is what I haven't gotten to do. Poop on summer, even more poop on fall, and shit on all the snow I'm going to have to trudge though at school. This is when a broomstick would be really useful.

five people that i love who aren't family...(NOT in order)
- Megan
- Adam
- Dana
- ELizabeth
- Kai

five things i can't live without
- Drinks
- Food
- My bed
- Clothes
- Shoes

five foods/beverages i love
- Pasta
- Chocolate
- Ice Cream
- Persian Rice
- Lemonade

five things that i have to always have with me
- Wallet
- Cell phone
- Chapstick
- Pen
- Lip gloss

five things i will always and forever hate...
- When my cat gets fur on my pillow
- When I buy ice cream and only get one serving of it. Totally agree.
- Chronic liars
- Being cold
- Ms. Kelly

I tag:
- Megan
- Dana
- Alex
- Josh
- Chris

"I didn't recognize you without the handcuffs..."

Its never good when you are woken up because you rolled over onto your stomach and its starting to burn because its in contact with something. Ow.

Going to le river! Yay!!! So, its with my family, so what? I made sammiches and kool aid and put pickles and fruit in little tupperwares are put everything in a cooler to go to! Hoorah!!

I saw this in another journal, and I thought it was cool for future reference...

( 100 things I want to do before I die. )

Bride and Prejudice is brilliantly cheesy and rediculously wonderful at the same time. Having people break out into song for no reason, especially when they're supposed to be Indian and singing in English is really fun to watch. Ahhh fake Bollywood.

Tonight I spent at the Spaghetti Factory with my family, whose entire conversation for the hour and a half that we were there revolved around my brother and his stupid trip to Washington DC for the National Boy Scout Jamboree, which goes by the shortened name, 'Jambo'. Bah. The only time I got talked to is when my mum was bitching about how much she had to do to get me off to college and that I wasn't doing anything to help her. Gah gah. I hate parents sometimes, and I hate my brother more often. Its his fault that I can't read the Harry Potter book until Wednesday and its his fault that my parents have no money for college stuff for me. Who wants to spend $4500 on a 2 week trip to Washington DC, when I spent just over that for a 9 week trip to EUROPE and ISRAEL!?!?!? GAHHHHHHHHHHH. If this insanity doesn't stop, if I hear one more word about Boy Scouts--Too late. There will be stabbings here tonight, no worries.

Back from Idaho. Thats right. I drove down two days ago, spent one full day in hell and came back today. Whoot. My cousin got married yesterday to a girl who looks about 17, but in a very pretty dress. It was (only) 106 degrees at 8pm...Gah on heat. Boooooo. Anyway, have days off for Sunday and Monday, so I should hang with someone...Because if not, its hangin' with the brother.

Went and played today, am now sleepy because of it. Tomorrow I find out what is really making me sick! Yay! Cough....yawn...